8 Things to Tell Yourself When You’re Feeling Insecure

[pullquote width="300" float="middle"]we, more than others, look down upon, talk ill, and badmouth ourselves[/pullquote] More often than not, we comprehensively blame external forces (in manners of past traumatizing occurrences, an existing prominent influence, and a dominant public) in the thick of experiencing pangs of inferiority and self doubt come instances when the antecedent is what seems as though the only plausible option left for reaction (sample ordeals to be illustrated later on). But truth of the matter is, as it is something we tend to overlook, we, more than others, look down upon, talk ill, and badmouth ourselves to the extent of releasing havoc to an already pacified psyche, all the while blaming it on aforementioned incidents when in fact we are just as equally, and most likely even more so, to blame. But of course, it is indubitably inevitable to get double crossed or at least gain suspicion of, but we are, again, just as equally and even more so, to be blamed if we accept said judgments (of no intentions of goodwill) and take it as it is, for what it is. In a nutshell, according to one of my favorite Bible pastors, Joyce Meyer, what you think is how you'll feel, so when you think bad thoughts, it's highly likely you'd feel bad, but if you think of good thoughts, you'd definitely feel good -- a perfect diagram of parallelism. [pullquote width="300" float="right"]what you think is how you'll feel, so when you think bad thoughts, it's highly likely you'd feel bad, but if you think of good thoughts, you'd definitely feel good[/pullquote]
So I've contemplated on personal experiences, specifically on certain situations compelling me to feel inferior resulting to a respective change of mental state, as would a domino effect; and came up with different day-to-day scenarios, backed up by research, personal experiences, and surveys, that reflect conjunct rational biases in response to said scenarios for when inferiority arouses:
1. When the number of likes you get doesn't amount to what you expected or is in a farther range in comparison to others
Automatic mental response: "Mas maganda lang talaga siya and mas sikat lang talaga siya." "I'm so jealous." "Bakit ganun? Ano mali sakin?" "How 2 be her po?" "Di hamak mas maganda naman ako sakanya" "What does she have that I don't?"

Shift in mindset:

  • "God is the giver of all things, He gave her 200 likes, and He gave me 80. So that's her role to play, and this is mine."
  • "I'm content and satisfied with what I have, but if I want more, I'm gonna use this situation to boost me into working hard for what I want."
  • "I'm not going to focus on what I don't have, but instead I'm going to focus on making what I do have grow and expand even more"
2. When you're apprehensive and nervous to recite, to make new friends, to wear something you usually don't, or generally do a certain task (in my case, talking in front of a crowd, be it scripted or impromptu, scares the life out of me, to the extent of an endless array of mispronunciations, stuttering, and fidgeting; and in even worse state of affairs, ditching or skipping class)

Automatic mental response: "Di ko kaya to, I really can't do it." "It's not too late to back out now." "Mapapahiya na naman ako, this is definitely going to turn out bad." "Baka ijudge nila ako."


Shift in mindset:

  • "Matthew 28:20 says, 'I am with you always.' So it's safe to say that as I do what I'm going to do, Jesus will be right there with me, hand on my shoulders, smiling."
  • "If other people can do it, so can I! I can do this!" "I've already achieved so much over the past few years, no doubt I can do this and even do far greater"

3. When you flunked a test or ranked lower as compared to your peers.

Automatic mental response: "Bakit ganun? Everyone passed, ako lang hindi." "I guess i wasn't meant to reach that far." "Sobrang incapable ko naman." "Mas matalino lang talaga sila. Hanggang ganito lang ako."


Shift in mindset:

  • "Jeremiah 29:11, 'For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
  • "I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying (Michael Jordan)"
  • "I'll do my best, and God will do the rest."
  • "If my original plan didn't work, I'll try a different one!"
4. When you catch yourself feeling insecure about someone whom you deem more better looking and more physically attractive than you are when it comes to facial features.

Automatic mental response: "No wonder walang may gusto sakin." "Ang pango ko! Buti pa sakanya ang tangos." "Sana maputi ako. Sana mas matangkad ako." "Lagi nalang sila pinupuri, ako never." "No matter how much make up I put on, she's still so much prettier than I am!" "Ganda niya, wala siyang pimples."

Shift in mindset:

  • "I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
  • "My insecurity stems not from what others think but what I actually think about myself. I have to love myself first before I completely come into terms with the fact that people like me."
  • "I am beautiful, unique, and amazing!"
  • "Instead of sulking about what I think I don't have, I'm going to work on and improve on what I do have."
  • "It's okay to wear makeup! Everybody wears makeup! It's merely a tool for enhancing my features, I don't have to be insecure about wearing makeup."
5. When someone's more physically fit than you are.

Automatic mental response: "She's so pretty and so slim, tapos ako ganito?" "ANG TABA TABA KO!!! ANO BA YAN!!!" "Sana ganyan katawan ko."

Shift in mindset:

  • "Magwworkout na ako bukas! And I'm not gonna let anything or anyone stop me!"
  • "Instead of laying on my bed and complaining about how jealous I am of their bodies, I'm going to the gym right now."
6. When you're about to attend a social gathering and you know you're going to feel intimidated and outcasted

Automatic mental response: "Oh no! Ijjudge na nila ako! They're going to judge the way I dress, the way I talk, and just about everything I do!" "They're the cool kids, I can never fit in with them." "I can't take this; I'm not going to attend."

Shift in mindset:

  • "It's hard to be myself especially when it comes to this, but I'm going to CHOOSE to be myself anyway."
  • "Odds are, no one's going to judge me, I'm the only one judging myself."
  • "Since I'm a little too worried about myself, I'm going to put my focus on others instead by asking questions pertaining to THEM. That way, I terminate self inclining thoughts; and insecurities too."
  • "I'm lovable, interesting, and fun!"
7. When you feel left out or feel unaccepted whenever you're with your friends or feel as though you were asked out for dinner merely as a last resort or because they "had" to.

Automatic mental response: "No one likes me, only my mom does." "I'm unloved and unwanted, there's no one I can trust." "No one wants to be with me. I have no best friend, no one to share shallow stories with."

Shift in mindset:

  • "Those people are my friends, and I have to take action, open up, be vulnerable, and ask them what the deal is."
  • "I need to stop making assumptions based on my emotions and start believing in facts -- they're my friends and they love me."
8. When you feel like you don't measure up to the standards established by society

Automatic mental response: "Ang itim ko, hindi ako fair skinned." "The trend's long over, and I still don't own a pair of Stan Smiths." "Ang liit ko, ang dark ng underarms ko, and pango ako." "I'm not as popular as other girls."

Shift in mindset:

  • "I'm going to stop obsessing over what other people want me to be, and start accepting who I am and continue being who I really am."
  • "Society's standards are flawed. No one in this generation takes those standards seriously any longer anyway."
  • "I'm honestly the only one putting myself down. People like me. I should learn to start liking myself as well."
  • "Everyone's different, everyone has their insecurities. We're all perfect in our own way."
If you come to think of it and look closely at the pattern, most of our automatic mental response centers around the fact that we're actually the ones who don't accept ourselves for who we are; us more than others. We're insecure because we see people as more capable and inclined, we're the root; us more than social media, structural society, and people whom we label as belittling and degrading. That said, it's time we change our mindsets! And don't worry! You're not alone! Most of the situations mentioned above are based on my personal testimonies! So let's overcome our insecurities together!
You are wonderfully made, LIVE LIKE IT!
 

10 Replies to “8 Things to Tell Yourself When You’re Feeling Insecure”

    1. Hi Luisa! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS 🙂 AND FOR PLANNING TO COME BACK AND READ AGAIN 🙂 this means so much to me! Let’s tackle on insecurities TOGETHER! 🙂

  1. I can really see that all your “Automatic Mental Response” is very personal 🙂 Thank you for sharing. do more posts on topics like this please!!! AND MORE DESIGNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. “we, more than others, look down upon, talk ill, and badmouth ourselves” SO ON POINT ATE KYNA!!!!! I’ll make this my screensaver!

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