8 Telling Signs You’ve Been Living Under the Control of What Others Think

We have a problem. And it's become too camouflaged a norm to actually give it its due acknowledgment and too normalized to regard as an issue necessary of amends and realignment. But what exactly am I talking about? fullsizerender80 I bet the following scenarios/instances will sound all too familiar for you guys, myself included:
  1. Our automatic reaction of monitoring the number of likes accumulated once we have our photo posted on Facebook, and our feeling of dismay when the reach we're hoping for seems to fold out an improbable hundred-to-one ratio.
  2. The "need" to socialize with elite groups of people, so to speak, or rather to have a big group of friends. The "need" to be a part of the in crowd.
  3. The gush of embarrassment we tend to be filled with as we get acquainted with people modeling their latest iPhones with hands held high while our scratched, hand me down iPhone 5's flatly stay tucked in hiding between our left hand and the right.
  4. The drive to work out every morning for 3 months for the sole reason, although never admitted upfront, of rocking a totally fit body perfect for Facebook profile pictures, Instagram picturesque sunset photos, and Snapchat stories, come summertime.
  5. When hesitation overwhelms our entirety in the setting of raising our hands consequential to answering the teacher's question, in fear of making a mistake and getting subtly ridiculed by classmates in form either of pity eyes or aggressive rebuttals.
  6. When we think somebody's smarter, more beautiful, more capable, and generally better than us -- this comes in forms of higher grades, more Facebook likes, better opportunities, stronger family ties, closer-knit friends, and overall generally having a seemingly better life.
  7. The existing, and among other things, an unspoken rule of thumb to make it a point never to wear the exact same outfit twice, or at the very least, the same piece of clothing within a two-month span twice.
  8. What was once executed out of mere familiarity and imitation, as habitual as it was expected, turned into so much so a necessity inasmuch as a lifestyle: never leaving home without a full face of fresh makeup and constantly reapplying every 2 hours for fear of smudged eyebrow gel residue.
I know, we're all guilty, aren't we? But as are you, so am I, if not I wouldn't have been able to pin every scenario down to its last detail. Further, what's worse is, we've made it into a lifestyle and we don't even know it. So, in a more vivid sense, what exactly am I talking about? As aforementioned instances' commonalities emerge out in the open, indisputably, their roots lead back to the underlying problem of us, our mindsets, actions, and emotions collectively, being strongly controlled by what other people's opinions are and what they have to say, much less limiting. Say for example, when someone catches us wearing the same thing from a week ago, we'd automatically rush into a panic, feeling deeply embarrassed and think, "Oh no! Baka isipin niya ito lang yung maayos kong damit!" or when we get 200 likes lower than what most people acquire, so we'd feel insecure, alone, and incapable, and we'd think, "Mas sikat sila, mas madami silang friends. Puro nalang auntie at uncle ko naglalike and nagcocomment." All similar encounters bring about emotions of discontent, embarrassment, and inferiority, which is why, SUBCONSCIOUSLY (emphasis on the word "subconsciously"), we result to fabricating our personas as coping mechanisms in hopes for feeling accepted and fitting in; this may sound oriented to high school drama movies, but if we only reassess ourselves, we'd figure out that, probably, most of our struggles as of late, or for the longest time now, may have been spawned by a lack of the authentic self and more so being controlled of what other's think.

18 Replies to “8 Telling Signs You’ve Been Living Under the Control of What Others Think”

  1. I can totally relate to this. Continue inspiring people Kyna and being a light to this world 🙂 thanks also for pointing out that this issue exists.

  2. Such a great post, girl! I definitely agree that we all have and in some cases still do battle with these issues daily, especially in the context of our our obsession with social media and how we’re being portrayed. This is a much needed post to remind ourselves that at the end of the day, we have to do what we do to genuinely please ourselves. Thanks so much for sharing, beauty, and I hope you have a great day!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    http://www.thestylecontour.com

    1. THANKS SO MUCH, JALISA! 🙂 Yes! I totally agree with you! I feel like all of my posts recently are about acknowledging personal issues! HAHAHAHA!

  3. This is really a great post and I agree on everything! I have decided for myself not to let social media to affectbmy feelings in anyway!So I don’t care about the number of followers or likes, especially I do not compare myself to others, because we all know that many bloggers buy those followers and likes! But I understand that some came not escape that battle. I think it’s so important to stay true to yourself! Thanks for this great post! xxx

    http://www.naomella.com

    1. DEFINITELY!!! You are not doubt such an inspiration to women, such as myself, who are battling said issues! 🙂 Continue shining Ivi! <3

    1. Yeah! I couldn’t agree more! The medias actually set the “standards” so to speak and we fall trap into it. 🙁 but i guess the journey of realizing and applying said realization is what makes all this fun! 🙂

  4. brilliant post! I can totally relate to this; especially with things like working out. like do i actually want to work out to be fit and healthy for me or do i want to work out so other people are like “look, she’s healthy!” x

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